Ending of 2014

As I sit here at home tonight thinking back at how our lives have changed in the last 365 days. This time last year I was able to pick up the phone to call or text mom but now I can't. I can talk to mom anywhere I want, knowing she can see and hear me always. During 2014, I was able to celebrate mom's birthday, Easter, Mother's Day and have a graduation party for Haley/birthday party for dad with mom. In February mom started experiencing some digestive issue thinking this would be her gallbladder she went to the DR. Some test were ran and during her CT Scan they found lessions on her liveer and that's when the beginning of the change forever to my world started. I have sat at home so many times watching TV, reading something, or just have a thought come in my head and think I need to tell mom or wonder what she thought about that. That has truely been the hardest part of the last 5 months is no longer being able to humanly communicate with mom. Grief is the strangesst emotion. I can go days something and think WOW I'm starting to cope with all of this and then BAM out of no where I become a blubbering idiot. I never knew true pain until 8/1/2014 and now I understand. There are times when I feel like I can not breathe or when all I want to do is cry but I'm going to figure out how to survive and make mom proud. Love you MOM today and always.

Holiday season has begun

As much as I'm not looking forward to the next few weeks, the Christmas season is upon us. We spent last weekend in Gatlinburg, oh how we all missed you. We played Shut the Box, Head and Foot, along with a game of Uno and Monopoly. Bethany and myself helped Auntie cocok lunch on Thurseday. As much as I've said I am not shopping Thursday night/Friday, well Bethany talked me into shopping Thursday night. We all decided to keep dad busy on Saturday, so we went to see the Hatfield and McCoy Christmas show. Saturday would have been mom and dad's 45th wedding anniversary. Hard to believe they would have been married 45 years. Before we left, Dad and I got your grave site decorated. Still can not believe I am decorating your gravesite instead of watching you decorate the house. A very beautiful tombstone piece full of poinsettas and a flag with a cabin on it. Haley and Cassidy helped dad yesterday decorate the house and put the tree up. All of mom's UK christmas things are out, the manager scene and some other things are out. As much as I didn't like going out to mom's open house, it will definately seem weird not going to it this year.